


Time is always scarce for those who need, but for those who love it lasts Forever

by GissefromMars22



Series: You & Me, We Always Seems Find Our Way Back To Each Other [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Love, M/M, Malec, Memories, Reincarnation, Soulmates, True Love, alec lightwood - Freeform, magnus bane - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:22:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28315959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GissefromMars22/pseuds/GissefromMars22
Summary: Alex started a path to know who he really is, it will be hard, and a little painfull at times, but he finally is starting to remember and now there is no coming back...
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: You & Me, We Always Seems Find Our Way Back To Each Other [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2073774
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	Time is always scarce for those who need, but for those who love it lasts Forever

**Author's Note:**

> SURPRISE!!! i started working on this after all the beautifull messages that i recived from the previous work, so i hope this will lives up with your expectations! i´m really happy with the result, so let me know what u think of this and Merry Christmas everyone!!!!

"If it's what you want, if it's what makes you happy...then go for it!"

The beautiful face in front of him was unknown, but absolutely familiar, the dark eyes that seemed to know the inside of his soul, the look of understanding and love on the young woman's face, her bright red painted lips smiling mischievously, made Alex's heart contract painfully...but there was no time to think, the dream continued.

He was passing from that place that was so familiar and strange at the same time, an Institute, Alex could notice even with the speed of the events that were happening in his dream, towards a long corridor and a big door of heavy wood.

He could be seen coming down the stairs of the place with both enthusiasm and nervousness. His decision was firm, of that there was no doubt, the Alex of this dream, knew exactly what he wanted, where he wanted to be...and with whom.

As he walked down the mouth of what looked like a subway, Alex found himself directly in front of a large, elegant, cozy hall, a place that was as familiar to him as his own home. Suddenly he found himself in front of a door, adjusting his clothes, nervously rehearsing lines of what could become his speech for this moment: 

"I don't want you to think I'm rushing into this..." Alex thought.

"I'm really sure what I want and it's you" naaa too corny he chided himself a second later.

"It's time, just face it, do what you feel," he said to himself to give himself courage before knocking on the door.

The seconds from the slight knock on the wood until it opened, Alex's breathing seemed to accelerate without him being able to stop it.

The man in front of him was once again not completely clear, his profile, his eyes...were so familiar and Alex was clinging on with everything he could to try and clear the image, knowing that as soon as he woke up the details would immediately leave his mind. So he focused, on the man's hair, on the line of his jaw, on the smile that was dedicated only to him...

Alex could almost feel his lips rubbing against the other man's, until he suddenly walked away and heard the worried voice of his lover:

"Hey, what's this all about? Not that I'm complaining but..."  
And he pierced himself by answering, "I just thought that we could take the next step," his anxiety and nervousness evident in the tone of his voice, as he waited for the man's reaction to him, and sought in those dark eyes the necessary understanding.

"The sex step"

"Yes" he answered simply... his heart beating in his ears, his mind even trying to completely decipher the face of the man in front of him.

"...I may be experienced, but it´s rare that I feel this way about someone and..." chocolate eyes looked at him tenderly "I´m worry that once we...that if we rush into this, then I may lose you" concluded the man in front of him. 

"What? Why do you think that?" he answered.

"Look, you're not the only one who feels vulnerable," the man confessed.  
And as soon as Alex's gaze crossed the face in front of him again, he saw it clearly. His chest contracted from the yearning, the emotion, the understanding of who the person in front of him was.

"Magnus, you have nothing to worry about, I want this," Alex answered easily, as if it were the most absolute truth of his whole life, taking Magnus by the neck of his shirt, joined his lips and took him with him to the room...

And Alex could feel a wave of emotion through him.  
The touch of hands on his neck and shoulders, the love, the understanding, the understanding between the two. But above all, love, the love that they had for each other at that moment, something that Alex had never experienced until now...

But it was only a dream, and when he found himself stretching out to take the man in front of him in his arms once more, he found only his pillow, the first rays of morning light streaming through his half-open window.

Breathing heavily and his mind clouded by the dream he had just had, Alex jumped out of bed, looking around, puzzled. That had not been a dream, it could not be, it felt so real! It was as if the pieces of a puzzle were beginning to come together in his head.

"Magnus," the young man thought immediately.

It was him, he was one hundred percent sure, Magnus was the man he had been dreaming about, even before he met him, even before he knew that he was real, that he was not a product of his imagination, that he had not invented him...  
Magnus had been in his dreams before, it was his voice that whispered words in the darkness, it was his hands that caressed Alex's face in the half-light, it was he who embraced him making him feel that everything would be better, that nothing would make him give up, that his efforts were worthwhile, that he was worthwhile.

"Magnus" whispered again Alex, running his hand through his messy hair, shaking his head when an image appeared in front of him, it was like being in a daydream, but these couldn't be dreams, they were something else, totally different:

"Magnus" Alex said in the memory "I don't think I can live without you" feeling his chest oppressed by the fear of having lost the man in front of him.

"I, I can't do anything without thinking of you" admitted the warlock, as if his own words escaped his lips without him intending to say them.

A sharp pain in the temple made Alex back up to sit on his bed, "what is happening to me?" the young man wondered.  
He gently massaged his temples and got up to head to the bathroom, needed a shower, cleared his head and decided how to proceed with what was happening.  
In front of the mirror, he studied his eyes carefully, touched his own lips softly, feeling the fire burning inside him, his gaze lost in another memory that made his heart contract:

"You ´re gonna make it back, you hear me?" Alex said firmly to the Warlock in front of him.

"Why wouldn't I? Look what I have waiting for me"... and a kiss. One that was nothing like any other Alex had ever experienced.

It was a desperate kiss, a kiss loaded with so many emotions that made his chest squeeze. Full of love, fear, doubt, despair and hope, all at once, all living together inside him. As he parted and fixed his eyes on the chocolate ones again, Alex felt the urge not to let go, not to let Magnus go away, but the action continued and Alex let go of the sorcerer's hand. Then he could feel the heat of the fire in front of him, his gaze still fixed on the man who was starting to burn in the center of the pentagram.

"I love you, Alexander" said Magnus. And Alex's breath was caught in his throat. That name, Alexander...

"I love you too" replied the Alex of the vision without hesitation.

The Nefilim's hands clung to the sink, as if wanting to prevent the memory from leaving, wanting to hold on to that small part of a forgotten life.

"I need to see him, I must talk to him" thought the young man to himself, as he tried to finish what he was doing as soon as possible.

But what if things were not as he was imagining them? What would Magnus have to say about this? Would the other man believe that Alex had gone absolutely crazy? No, of course not. Magnus knew something, he knew it, he knew the truth and Alex would make a great effort to understand.   
Then he heard himself once again, his distant, doubtful, nervous voice saying: 

"I heard that - emm relationships, they take effort"

"I'm all for effort" Magnus replied in a raspy voice, and Alex almost tried to reach him with his hand, before he realized that he was still alone, in his room, on his way out.

How come this has never happened to me before? Why was it happening now?

The questions formed in his head, even though he already knew the answers: Magnus! Magnus was what had changed.  
Now every one of his dreams, memories, whatever he wanted to call them, took on new meaning.

His mind started to go over his previous dreams:  
the one where he was on a balcony, the breeze brushing his face, the same man in his arms, Magnus, he could now tell, kissing him slowly and leisurely in the middle of the night, just enjoying the closeness of the other; or another one where Magnus was walking away from him, pointing to the room and saying "hmmm, she's right there" to a bewildered Alex who was staring into the other man's eyes asking "so now I can't kiss my boyfriend?  
Small scenes were recreated in Alex's mind, one after the other, each taking on a new meaning now. They were much clearer and he no longer had any doubts.  
Those had not been dreams, they never were. He couldn't explain it, but still he had no doubt about it, he had had a life full of those memories. A life that he still did not remember totally, a life that he had shared with Magnus, a life that he did not remember totally but that he already missed.  
Raziel, he could never explain it, but that was his life, the real one, the one that always should have been.   
His present was nothing more than a mere existence, a constant wobble between what he should feel and what he really wanted, between who he felt he should be and who he really was.  
Quickly dressing up, he walked the halls of the Institute, not even giving a second glance to his colleagues who looked at him in alarm at his attitude. Some even approached him to make sure everything was okay, that nothing bad was happening to him. But none of that mattered now; there was only one place he needed to get to as soon as possible.  
He had to get to him, I needed to see him, even more than that, he needed to hold him in my arms. Something inside him told him that if he returned to him, if he returned to Magnus, everything would make sense.

As he headed for the warlock's apartment, Alex felt the rune in his hair start to burn, "what the hell?" he thought, that had never happened before.

Then the pain made his body stop right there where he was, in the middle of the street, the tears began to flow from his eyes without him being able to contain them, anguish, fear, desolation invaded his heart and he could hear Magnus' voice, his eyes shining from the contained tears, a small smile on his face as he said "I never thought I would be an runaway groom" and a second later he disappeared through a portal, leaving him behind. Surrendering, kneeling and looking up to the sky, he tried to control his breathing.  
As best he could, Alex got up from the wet pavement in the incessant drizzle of a typical autumn day in London, wiping away his tears and once again, just by reflex trying to touch a ring on his finger, which wasn't there.  
He started walking faster, until he found himself running, trying to reach his destination as soon as possible.  
He was halfway across the park that overlooked the block from the warlock's apartment when he saw him. By the water fountain surrounded by trees that swayed in the breeze and drizzle. The man seemed to be agitated, as if he had also arrived there running, desperate, his face showed great concern and he inhaled a great breath of air when his gaze met Alex's.

"Magnus" whispered the young man, then shouted louder for him to hear, as if he didn't have him almost in front of him "MAGNUS!

Then the scene in front of him changed abruptly, the sky seemed to turn red, the heat gushing from the ground as if he were walking on fathoms, the heavy air, as if it were smoke trying to breathe. He looked around and saw dark brick walls rising up, as if about to crumble, a room without a roof, with the floor littered with old books and candles burning around him that served as a limitless source of light in the eternal gloom of this place. 

"Magnus", Alex cried again, now completely immersed in the memory.

"Alexander" said with emotion the Magnus of his memory.

They met in an embrace that seemed to last an eternity and just a moment at a time. Magnus' hands holding his arms, his shoulders, until they reached the young man's neck, as if he was trying to make sure that he was really there, that this was not only his imagination.

"I thought I would never see you again," he said a moment later, walking away enough to look him in the eye, his hands still firmly gripping Alex's neck.

"I told you, it's only Edom...and we wouldn't let you face Lilith alone”.

"We?"

Alex barely turned the sorcerer's gaze away from him, to see the figure of another man, talking to Magnus, but in an instant his gaze was once again fixed on the man with the chocolate eyes.  
Magnus' hands never lost contact with his body, as if he feared Alex would disappear in front of him.

"And if we succeed? Then what?" asked the anguished warlock.

"I'm staying here with you, I'll never leave you again," Alex answered immediately, leaving no room for doubt.

Magnus' eyes filled with tears of emotion, a sigh escaped from his mouth and Alex felt that he had never made a more correct decision than this. Magnus was his home, his life, his heart and also part of his soul.  
Suddenly Alex's vision focused on the present, the rune on his chest shone again and throbbed strongly under his hand, which now rested on his chest, and he saw Magnus take his own hand to his left wrist, a glare escaping from between his fingers, golden, strong, throbbing as the one that came out of his chest. his eyes met Magnus's, he ran towards him, barely containing his emotions and wrapped him in his arms in an embrace as charged with emotions as that of his memory.

"I know," she whispered in his ear, "now I know”.

"Alex" heard Magnus say in a choppy voice...

"No, not Alex, Alexander," he said as he looked him in the eye.

Magnus smiled, the tears at last running down his cheek, his eyes taking a distant, special, green-golden hue, his pupils changing to cats like, which said a thousand things without speaking, taking him by the neck he gently said "Alexander".

"Magnus, they´re beautiful" said Alex more firmly, "U´re beautiful" he repeated, looking into the true eyes of the love of his life, but it was much more than that, it was the other part of his soul.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for all your support and beautiful messages, i´m really happy and can´t wait to read what u guys think of this!  
> Thanks for reading, Gisse XOXO


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